


Goodbye

by yauksiei



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Intercourse, Post-Fall, Sad!John, Sad!Sherlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-19
Updated: 2012-02-19
Packaged: 2017-10-31 11:11:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/343419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yauksiei/pseuds/yauksiei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's so hard to say goodbye, especially when the person you are saying goodbye to can't beg you to stay, because they've already left themselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Two Words

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, seriously, I really need to stop listening to Listen to the Rain! XD that song has inspired yet another fic.
> 
> This first chapter is primarily John. Next chapter will have more characters.
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and if you haven't already, give Listen to the Rain a try. It's by Amy Lee, or try Evanescence. I don't own it, obviously, nor do I own Sherlock. I just wish Series 3 will come soon! DX

It was always hard to say goodbye for John. He can remember every single goodbye that changed his life. When he said goodbye to his parents before going train at St. Bart's. Saying goodbye to his country as he flew off to Afghanistan. Saying goodbye to the army as he was discharged.

But none of those could compare to now.

It had been a few months since *he* had said goodbye. John had yet to respond. And now, there he stood, in front of the black stone with a steady gaze but slightly quivering lip. His knuckles were white as he clutched his cane. His limp had returned as soon as he had walked away from this place the first time.

It was cold. Of course it was cold. The grass was wet from the previous night's storm. The droplets still slid down the golden letters, giving them an almost emotional look. As if Sherlock were feeling with him, even though the consulting detective had never actually shared feelings with anyone before they met. The breeze was silent yet biting, gently shaking the grass in its wake. Not a single bird chirped. Not a single voice sounded.

John almost didn't want to break the silence that was peacefully tense around him, as if the Earth were holding its breath, waiting for the words to be said. He didn't want to say them. He would rather say the words a thousand times over to someone else for the rest of his life if he didn't have to say them now.

But it needed to be done, just like every other time in his life.

So, with a heavy heart and shaking voice, John Watson whispered to the silent headstone two words.

"Goodbye, Sherlock."

He left, then. His steps had never been so loud.


	2. Five Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter :D enjoy! Thanks for stoppin' by!

Four times.

That was how many times Sherlock Holmes had almost run over to John Watson and tell him everything he had ever wanted to tell him. Apologies, endearments, pleads...everything.

There were many words that Sherlock left unsaid in his lifetime. That was the beauty of his and John's relationship, though. He hadn't *needed* words. All he had to do so say something meaningful was either look at him, brush his fingers, or use his lips for an alternate purpose. But now he could do none of those things. And it...hurt.

It was agony to see John in such a state. But it was even worse when he started to get better. It wasn't the fact the he was getting better that Sherlock didn't like. It was the means that led to the end.

John had met a woman through Molly. Sherlock had seen her only once before he had to leave, because John's eyes constantly wandered to the window of what was now only his flat. She was beautiful, had a lovely smile, and was completely understanding of the dynamic of Sherlock and John's relationship, unlike those before her. This made her unique. This made her a place in John's heart, a tiny place that she had settled into just fine.

Sherlock didn't like her. He was selfish enough to want to tear her away from John. However, he knew it was for the best not to intervene. If he were to return now...he couldn't even imagine what John would be like. Sherlock could imagine the doctor thinking him a hallucination, and hallucinations were part of the suicidal process. If there was one thing on God's green Earth that Sherlock Holmes never wanted to lose, it was his doctor. If John would pull the trigger, Sherlock would load the revolver and take another shot.

That couldn't happen. He wasn't finished with Moriarty's web yet. And even after he had accomplished his task, he would not return to Baker Street. John was rebuilding his life now. It was better that he do the same. No matter how much it hurt.

That was why Sherlock almost blew his cover a fifth time. To say five final words in farewell. John's room was dark, the moonlight shining through the slightly opened curtains providing the only light source. This worked to Sherlock's advantage. He could hide and sneak out almost immediately if need be.

Sherlock took in John's face as he turned over in his sleep, putting his face directly in the moonlight. He was always so radiant, so bewitching, like this. The consulting detective could remember all the times he saw John like this. It always ended with John gasping and shuddering violently as Sherlock made love to that radiance, wanting to capture it and keep it with him forever. A burning anger at Moriarty flared in his cold heart once more. If that criminal hadn't done what he did, Sherlock could be capturing John's beauty all over again.

Sherlock pushed the thoughts aside. He could thing about such things later. For now though, he had to say his own goodbyes. Leaning down over John's face, he pressed one last kiss against the doctor's temple and whispered in a slightly hoarse voice,

"Goodbye, John...I love you."

Sherlock squeezed his eyes shut to stop the stinging in them, before forcing himself to pull away and exit the flat for the final time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gosh, this was sad to write...D: sorry for the sadness!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
